PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION

Last week, things got a little hectic for us. It seemed when life was landing us with every conceivable blessing, the bubble burst. As you read in our last blog, we recently purchased a Buick Terraza. Last Wednesday, we went to the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) to get it tagged. While there we found out that the City we live in has the highest sales tax in the State. 8.15%! WOWZA…. Okay, we can deal with that because we have a nice vehicle to drive. After purchasing our tag, we walked out of the DMV and someone had side swiped our new van. Now we are not talking about a little mark or scratch, we are talking about a side swipe from the driver’s door all the way down below the gas cap with a huge dent on the sliding door. HOLY CRAP!!!! We were just standing there thinking what the heck happen. We were in the DMV for approx. 40 minutes and while we were inside, there was a steady stream of people coming in. You cannot tell me someone did not witness what occurred. The individual who hit our vehicle was not a good soul. He/She left the scene. There was a police officer parked a few parking stalls away so I asked him to write up a police report and we called our insurance company. We take it in tomorrow for repairs. Needless to say, we have calmed down a bit. We just can’t fathom WHY someone would drive away after causing that much damage to someone else’s property. Unfortunately, it is the world we live in today. Very sad indeed.

Not to end that story on a sour note, we do thank God for His many blessings in our life and know that things could have been a whole lot worse. We could have been in the van or been hurt. So life lesson 101, always pull out the positive, no matter how bleak the situation is. :-)

As most of you know, I do a lot of deep thinking. I think we all do from time to time. You wonder why are we here, what is my purpose, why do things happen the way they do? Why do we think the way we do, act the way we do. What makes me, me. Lately, I have been trying to balance all of the new things happening in my life while also trying to balance all the chaos in my mind and ponder all the roles in my life, all while staying sane. Not an easy task! :-)

It is natural for us to want to alter something about ourselves whether that change be physical or emotional. We all have flaws that we wish were not there. I know I do. I know I cannot go back and change the things of the past. I cannot change who my parents are (not that I would want to) or my genetic make up. Are there things I would like to change about myself? Yes, of course. You see I am my own worse critic. I think most women can relate to this. In the physical department, I dislike my legs. I hate that I have none. :-) I am not a very tall individual so I feel like I have to really work out hard to keep them from becoming too big. As far as the emotional side goes, I hate that I have anxiety issues when things get out of control. But again this is how I am. I also care too much what people think of me. I am a people pleaser. Though I view myself as a person with great self esteem, I am still timid and shy in certain situations. It is hard for me to stand up to someone and say, no. And I’m not talking about being mean. I am talking about saying no to social events or volunteer work or things of that nature. I am too much of a people pleaser. I have a HUGE habit of always wanting things perfect, having things just so. And guess what, it isn’t always going to be perfect. Life isn’t perfect and it is not supposed to be. I’m not perfect and I’m not supposed to be either. It doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy life to the fullest, because I feel I do, just why does everything have to be all lined up, not out of place and looking just right? It is about progress and not perfection right?????

It has taken me awhile but I do believe I have come full circle. I am learning to except things which I cannot change about myself and things that I can. I am learning to let go and let God take total control. I am a content person. I love being Kevin’s wife, Scott’s Mom, a sister (in-law), a daughter (in-law, especially to Captain) and a friend, but I also can learn to love being me too. I am learning that I can like me as well, even with all the flaws I feel I have. I am understanding that I do not have to be perfect. As long as I am living my life to its fullest and loving God and doing his Will, then life is good. So what if I clean our house a little too much? So what if I care what people think or say about me? And I am obsessed with my fitness program? Well, all these things make me who I am. I am starting to embrace myself and I am happy where God has led me so far in this journey we call life. Happy with the all the roles God has given me and understanding if He doesn't expect me to be perfect, why should I feel I need to be for others.

I AM WHO I AM! :-)

NOTE ~~~ As for the house, no sod yet, but we will try and post pictures anyway! :-)