No Walk in the Park

Stoli is living his doggy life to the fullest -- which to him means quality napping, quantity eating, evening walks with Mommy and of course, the staple in his life, his fabulous no-grain treats. The late nights and early morning hours seem to be the hardest for Stoli. He can't seem to get comfortable and seems to have a hard time breathing, although I must tell you that Stoli has ALWAYS been a heavy panter.

The only way I can describe our nights now are like this: it is though we have a newborn in the house and we GET TO get up every few hours to take care of the baby. Not that either one of us mind. Stoli IS our baby! :)

A few nights ago, I got up and took him for a walk because he had some "issues" to take care of. Once he relieved himself, he was much better and off to sleep he went, until about 4 in the morning. The only difference I see with a newborn and Stoli is that we aren't changing diapers, we are just taking him for a walk. I can't say that I am fully awake when he needs to go out but I do the best I can. Adrenaline usually kicks in and we are out the door. There are some nights, I don't sleep a wink. Every little move or sound he makes, I am up out of bed making sure he is breathing. It is tough on all of us, but Stoli is the one we are thinking about. We will have plenty of time later to do the things we want to do when Stoli has passed.

Everyday it becomes more and more real that our days with Stoli are becoming limited. As I hear him struggle to breathe or walk, it breaks my heart. We are not quite ready to say goodbye to him, nor is Stoli ready to leave us. The vet said so long as he has some spunk and spirit in him then it is not time yet. He definitely has been the best dog anyone could ever ask for. I don't know how much longer he has, but I have a gut feeling that it isn't going to be much longer. I'll be honest, I thought I was stronger and tougher but I am scared because I am afraid of losing him. This past month, we have grown even closer to Stoli and it just makes it harder. Needless to say losing our Stoli will certainly leave a big hole in our hearts. But until that day.... we will do whatever we can to make him happy! :)

~ Elizabeth